http://PardonThePundit.com/Pardon the Pundit is a satirical political online publication based in Washington DC. PTP aims to make fun of the players who make up our political process. comedy club. Sit, relax and be entertained while waitstaff serves you premium & microbrewed beer, wine, fresh dough pizza, sandwiches and light fare in our theater restaurant. Must be 21 to enter.Copyright Pardon The Pundithttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=784PTP's Hollywood bureau received anonymous tips from multiple sources yesterday and today that current GOP presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich and former GOP contender Herman Cain had both spent several hours together in New Orleans. We've been told t...2/22/2012 3:05:28 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=783Presidential Candidate Rick Santorum's recent comments comparing President Obama to Adolph Hitler have caused outrage amongst Jewish groups, Democratic circles and even the former Dictator himself is reported to be upset. Pardon the Pundit's sources...2/22/2012 7:05:27 AMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=782A GOP debate taking place in Mesa, Arizona tonight was attacked by a marauding horde of “Sand People,” A race of beings made famous from their appearances in the Star Wars movie franchise. The horde invaded the convention center, bashing away at Wo...2/21/2012 8:05:27 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=781PTP anonymously received a transcript of a 911 call placed this morning in Mesa, Arizona. The brief call was confirmed by caller ID (yeah, 911 uses it, too!) to have come from the hotel room of none other than GOP presidential primary hopeful Newt G...2/21/2012 3:05:25 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=780Numerous attendees at an Atlanta, Georgia, ballroom event claim that Herman Cain, the former GOP primary contender and fast food mogul known for his eccentric behavior, hosted a major event yesterday in which he not only pretended that he was the Pre...2/21/2012 7:05:24 AMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=779A Topeka, Kansas factory belonging to Really Gay Sweaters Inc., whose owners assured us by telephone that their name means “happy, not the other thing,” exploded this afternoon in a fireball of polyester, wool, and poor fashion sense. It was the onl...2/20/2012 8:05:25 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=778The State of Arizona has quite the reputation of insanity to live up to, and at tomorrow's televised CNN debate in Mesa, the Copper State plans on putting on quite the show. An “audience rehearsal” took place earlier today in a hotel conference room...2/20/2012 3:05:24 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=776Ron Paul told a crowd of stunned supporters today that if he is elected President, he will actually do all of those crazy things he has spent the last several months on the campaign trail promising he would do. The Texas Congressman’s shocking annou...2/20/2012 7:05:23 AMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=775The Personhood Bills currently making their way through the Oklahoma and Virginia State Legislatures may break ground in ways that result in some surprising, unintended consequences. The controversial bills, which would define a fertilized egg as a ...2/19/2012 8:05:23 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=777Anonymous sources inside the White House have revealed today that President Obama will be announcing tomorrow a new energy policy in the United States, with an executive order due to be signed by week's end, which will, in theory, improve energy effi...2/19/2012 3:05:22 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=773Mitt Romney is working hard to convince residents of Michigan that the Obama bailout of the auto industry was a mistake. Speaking to a gathering of GM workers in Detroit yesterday, Romney said of the bailout, “It’s just one more example of big g...2/19/2012 7:05:22 AMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=774Occupy Alabama's John Paul Thornton has recently filed to begin the “Occupy Wall Street super PAC,” a move that Thornton claims was inspired by Stephen Colbert's creation of a super PAC called “Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow.” Occupiers l...2/18/2012 8:05:20 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=772Rick Santorum chose not to bite the hand that feeds him today when he came to the defense of Foster Friess, a major Santorum supporter who has donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to Santorum’s Republican presidential primary effort. After Fries...2/18/2012 3:05:21 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=770CNN host Nancy Grace has inspired the cancellation of a GOP primary debate scheduled for March 1st, just ahead of Super Tuesday, after she accused all four Republican candidates of murdering various infants and pop stars. Mitt Romney, Ron Paul, and ...2/18/2012 7:05:18 AMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=771A small Cessna airplane carrying forty pounds of marijuana wandered into the no-fly zone that surrounds President Obama on Thursday, buzzing so dangerously close to Marine One that two F-16 fighters were scrambled from March Air Reserve Base to inter...2/17/2012 8:05:18 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=769Lawmakers in the State of New Jersey voted on Thursday to legalize gay marriage in the State, with a vote in the State Assembly coming out favorably at 42-33, which isn't strong enough to override a veto by Governor Chris Christie, who said he plans ...2/17/2012 3:05:18 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=768After a month of criticism and threats of legal action by animal rights groups and angry pet lovers everywhere, the Romney campaign has finally decided to allow Seamus – Romney's dog who is somehow 31 years old and still breathing – to tell his side ...2/17/2012 7:05:17 AMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=765Moments ago, the Pentagon released keyhole satellite images of a new construction program being undertaken by the Iranian government. But surprisingly, the images don't show hard water reactors for building nukes, or chemical plants, or munitions st...2/16/2012 8:05:17 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=767Rick Santorum is showing no signs of wilting under the glare of the increased attention his candidacy has received since the candidate swept caucuses in three states and claimed the mantle of the anti-Romney conservative Republicans have been craving...2/16/2012 3:05:18 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=766After eons of debate and tactical political posturing, Democrats and Republicans finally struck an eleventh-hour deal last night on the extension of the now-infamous payroll tax cuts, with the Chairman of House Ways and Means David Camp (R-MI) workin...2/16/2012 7:05:15 AMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=763A new ad released by Rick Santorum's campaign shows a Mitt Romney lookalike running through an abandoned building, shooting “mud” at a cardboard cutout of Santorum with a paintball gun. But in the end, the gun backfires, and blasts a load of “mud” a...2/15/2012 8:05:16 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=764First Lady Michelle Obama landed some press attention recently when she wore a dress purchased from Target, costing a mere $39.99. This has sent the wives of all four GOP presidential hopefuls into a tailspin, as they've organized press conferences ...2/15/2012 3:05:15 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=760Congressman Dennis Kucinich (D-OH) has had his fill of strangers mistaking him for Congressman and GOP presidential candidate Ron Paul (R-TX). Kucinich called together a press conference an hour ago to address the issue, stating that people have app...2/15/2012 7:05:14 AMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=762Conservative radio Sasquatch Glenn Beck was arrested in Washington DC this afternoon when Park Police allegedly caught him attempting to slip rufinol into the display case of the United States Constitution at the National Archives. Beck is being hel...2/14/2012 8:05:19 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=761Newt Gingrich got a shock today when he discovered that the heart-shaped box of chocolates he received for Valentine’s Day came not from yet another fiscally-conservative, morally-progressive woman who hopes Gingrich’s wife Callista will be bitten by...2/14/2012 3:05:18 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=757When Congressman Paul Ryan released his plan to overhaul the Medicare program, it received overwhelming support from female lawmakers. The real reason was revealed today; they find him "hot." Pardon the Pundit was able to score invitations to a clo...2/14/2012 7:05:17 AMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=759President Obama's administration unveiled a $3.8 trillion budget for fiscal year 2013 this morning, which aims to achieve $1.5 trillion in deficit reductions by raising taxes on the wealthy while also eliminating various corporate tax write-offs. ...2/13/2012 8:05:18 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=758Seeking to capitalize on his victory in the Maine caucuses and his endorsement by the conservative activist group, CPAC, a reinvigorated Mitt Romney returned to the campaign trail yesterday only to find himself once again immersed in hot water. But ...2/13/2012 3:05:16 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=756With Arizona and Michigan holding the next GOP primaries, both on February 28th, PTP's senior writing staff gathered in my office late last night to discuss our predictions of what might happen next in this hectic GOP presidential primary. We all ag...2/13/2012 7:05:16 AMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=755GOP frontrunner Mitt Romney, who won the Maine caucuses not long after PTP told you that would happen, has found himself on the defensive today after elements of Ron Paul's cult-like following have accused Romney of collusion with the Maine Republica...2/12/2012 8:05:17 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=754The world was stunned late last night when it was learned that international pop superstar Whitney Houston passed away unexpectedly in her Beverly Hills hotel room. Tributes, affectionate messages, and words of sorrow have been pouring in through so...2/12/2012 3:05:15 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=753For the first time in the history of the United States, and only the third time in world history, a crustacean has managed to win a human election. Larry, an American lobster weighing in at a little more than 2 lbs, is 36 years old, making him one o...2/12/2012 7:05:14 AMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=752Former half-term Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, who delivered the keynote address at CPAC this afternoon shortly after gunning down zombie Reagan from her private helicopter, revealed tonight her plans to form an exploratory committee for a possible pr...2/11/2012 8:05:27 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=751The GOP was stunned and horrified earlier today after former President and Conservative messiah Ronald Reagan clawed his way out of his grave this morning, hijacking an airplane in California and flying it to Washington DC. President Reagan reported...2/11/2012 3:05:26 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=750GOP primary contenders Mitt Romney, Ron Paul, and Rick Santorum have gone missing in the past 24 hours, noting prior to their departures that they feared retribution from Chuck Norris if they continued to run after Norris endorsed Newt Gingrich for t...2/11/2012 7:05:24 AMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=749With the 2012 GOP primary season being one of the most fiercely fought in contemporary history, the Conservative Political Action conference, or “CPAC,” is being looked at as a major battleground where three of the four remaining candidates can try t...2/10/2012 8:05:26 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=748GOP primary hopeful Rick Santorum, hot off his trio of big wins in Colorado, Missouri, and Minnesota, commented earlier today about the Pentagon's announcement that they'll be allowing more women to serve in the military on the front lines, saying he...2/10/2012 3:05:23 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=747No one can be certain what might happen in Maine this weekend, when the heated 2012 GOP primary season makes its way to the caucuses in the Pine Tree State. Will Santorum keep up his momentum and score big in lobster country? Will Newt Gingrich tak...2/10/2012 7:05:22 AMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=746Former half-term Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, who is set to deliver the keynote speech at the Conservative Political Action Conference (“CPAC”) this Saturday, flew to the wrong Washington today to speak on the wrong day at the wrong event, ending up ...2/9/2012 8:05:24 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=745With debate regarding the White House's health care contraception mandate spreading like genital warts, President Obama has been struggling to keep the Democratic party onboard, without further radicalizing the right. But he may have found the ultim...2/9/2012 3:05:22 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=744The United States Supreme Court is having security beefed up in anticipation of the likely gay marriage debate that will reach their halls in the near future. Anonymous sources who work for the US Park service are reporting that the Supreme Court bu...2/9/2012 7:05:20 AMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=743Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich became the first GOP presidential primary contestant to openly endorse the Obama Administration's regulation that requires all health insurance providers, including disapproving Catholic groups, to provide coverage ...2/8/2012 8:05:21 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=742GOP primary frontrunner Mitt Romney, who remains in the lead even after handedly losing Colorado, Minnesota, and Missouri last night during the two caucuses and one primary that took place in those States, has entered damage control mode today, expla...2/8/2012 3:05:21 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=741Former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum pulled off three huge wins last night after GOP voters flocked to the two caucuses and one primary scheduled then. Exit polling showed that Conservative voters were overwhelmingly terrified by yesterday's Fe...2/8/2012 7:05:20 AMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=740President Obama, who is apparently the only person in America that doesn't realize that Republicans don't like him because he's him, is hoping to swing some red votes his way this November by appealing to the most attractive factor Mitt Romney has go...2/7/2012 8:05:20 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=739GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum lashed out this afternoon against today's Federal appeals court ruling that says California's ballot-initiated ban on gay marriage is unconstitutional. Santorum, who has lost steadily throughout the primaries...2/7/2012 3:05:19 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=737Congresswoman Michele Bachmann, who dropped her presidential bid for the GOP nomination at the start of 2012 after poor results in Iowa, said earlier today that despite no longer running in the 2012 elections, having turned her efforts toward holding...2/7/2012 7:05:19 AMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=736A “Grassroots Rally” in Colorado for GOP primary contender Newt Gingrich ended disastrously earlier today when 241 rally-goers simultaneously ruined their pants, dresses, and skirts while listening to a song by embattled pop star Lana Del Ray. Aut...2/6/2012 8:05:18 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=735The producers of the terrible Ayn Rand movie released on tax day (April 15th) last year are hoping to follow up their poor box office performance with another slow, dry, feckless propaganda piece in October of 2012, just ahead of this year's election...2/6/2012 3:05:17 PMhttp://PardonThePundit.com/?ID=731Callista Gingrich, wife of presidential candidate and former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich, admitted she had a secret weapon to keep her coif stiff and perfect: her husband's bitterness. She told a group of conservative women in Florida that not...2/6/2012 7:05:16 AM