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Sarah Palin's magnificent breasts not exposed in shocking video
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8/7/2011 8:00 AM Floyd Harden - In a development that almost certainly spells an end to Sarah Palin’s political aspirations, Pardon the Pundit has received a DVD copy of a grainy video, apparently shot in the early 1980’s, in which a young Sarah Palin is seen speaking to a group at a Lion’s Club function in what seems to be a thoughtful, intelligent manner.

In a bizarre twist to this story, within hours of the video coming into PTP’s possession, it had been posted on youtube by PTP’s newest team member, advertising guru Bridget, whose resume reportedly lists under “Personal Qualities” her “capacity for ignoring standards of ethical journalistic practice in the blind pursuit of the almighty advertising dollar”.

Despite the fact that at no time in the video does young Sarah Palin expose her breasts, the video has already gone viral with over 12.3 million views in just the first 7 minutes. This massive interest may be at least partially explained by the description prominently featured above the youtube link to the video posted on PTP’s homepage: “Sarah Palin’s Magnificent Breasts Exposed in Shocking Video”.

In the interest of full disclosure and in order to avoid possible legal entanglements, it should be repeated that at no point in the video does Sarah Palin actually “release the hounds”.

However, the video does prove that the former beauty queen, governor of Alaska, and sexiest vice-presidential candidate ever is well versed on a variety of topics ranging from the environment to foreign policy to economics. To watch the video is to be astounded as young Sarah holds forth on these and other complex issues, speaking extemporaneously for over twenty-three minutes without once exposing her breasts.

Unfortunately for Palin, her once loyal followers who have seen the video have universally renounced their support for her, switching their allegiance to Michele Bachmann because, as one Youtube poster, LittleRockBill, put it, “Michele’s not as hot as Sarah but at least she really is dumb as dirt, not some poser. BTW, where in this lame video are Sarah’s boobies?!”

At press time, the public seemed to have lost interest in the Palin video; it had been overtaken as youtube’s Most Viewed Video of the Day by a 20 second video of a Chihuahua playing Beethoven’s 14th Piano Sonata in C minor while licking itself.
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Pardon The Pundit is a political satire publication that parodies the news and creates fake news. None of our postings should be regarded as truthful, and none of our references of an individual seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm. We are just ridiculous.